‘Burnout is a deficit of self-love,’ says New Way guest the Rev. Rola Ashkar

“Are you really loving others? Are you really loving God when you're doing it at the expense of your own well-being?” asked the Rev. Rola Ashkar during a recent podcast exploring the need for ministry leaders to set boundaries, practice self-care and attune to their bodies in the midst of their calling to serve God and others.

“Are you really loving others? Are you really loving God when you're doing it at the expense of your own well-being?” asked the Rev. Rola Ashkar during a recent podcast exploring the need for ministry leaders to set boundaries, practice self-care and attune to their bodies in the midst of their calling to serve God and others. 

“Because burnout is a clear sign of a deficit in self-love,” Ashkar posed to her “beloved colleagues” before admitting that “this is the sobering and the hardest lesson I had to learn: Your worth does not come from what you give to the church. Your worth is assigned to by your Creator. How would your ministry be different if you operate from that understanding?”

Ashkar is the latest guest on the New Way podcast, a production of 1001 New Worshiping Communties. In its 12th season, New Way’s host, the Rev. Sara Hayden, and its producer, the Rev. Marthame Sanders, are focusing on spiritual practices that deepen what Dr. Howard Thurman called “the sound of the genuine.” 

In these latest two episodes, Ashkar describes the ways she felt hemmed her in by what she called the “legacy church.” At the same time, Ashkar felt pressured to not set boundaries of time and space around her work in the congregation, to ignore habits of self-care and to dampen authentic expression of emotions. Like many congregational pastors, Ashkar experienced a prolonged season of burnout followed by an extended sabbatical and finally a decision to leave traditional ministry for the experimental and experiential space of new worshiping communities.

Ashkar is a teaching elder in the PC(USA), a dancer, a yogi and the founder of ἴαμα yoga, described as a community integrating yoga, somatics, spiritual exploration, trauma-informed care, breathwork and connection. Inspired by “ἴαμα (ee-yah-mah)” the Greek word for healing, Ashkar began focusing on healing the body-mind-spirit connection as a form of ministry by offering free yoga classes in the courtyard at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Sacramento before expanding into the online communal spaces of Instagram and Tiktok, where she is found as “@embodiedpastor.”

During two episodes totaling 45 minutes, Hayden’s conversation with Ashkar covers Ashkar’s personal history of dissociation through her experience as a Lebanese war baby, her efforts to fit in culturally in the American mainline church while at times challenging it politically, her sabbatical year on learning permaculture farming in Hawaii and the practices she dedicated to in order to bring herself back to the Imago Dei within her.

“That whole year of farming and being out and being so close to the earth just reminded me of how wide and how deep this universe is,” said Ashkar, who wondered why our views of God and ministry are so narrow. “I feel like I did a lot more ministry in that year off than I did in seven years of being in the church.”

When Ashkar immigrated to the United States to become a pastor, her whole community was the church. But she felt herself being called out of that context and community for good. “I'm not serving any traditional church, and I don't plan on ever going back, because I simply realized this is not my gift to the world,” she told Hayden.

“I think our first call was to be pioneers of change in society, and I'm not sure if we're doing that,” said Ashkar, who described how the church is still a part of the system that maintains the status quo even when it feeds the hungry or prays for the suffering.

“I found this disconnection in the church's values and what I value, and what most people my generation value,” she explained as she described the forms and focus of her new ministry as a new worshiping community leader.

Ashkar creates community by encouraging embodiment and supporting showing up as our whole selves. "When we are expecting and creating an environment for people to show up with all of them, with their emotions, this is where a community becomes a refuge, a place for people to go to find that nourishment, rather than just another chore to add to their week,” said Ashkar.

Listen to Hayden’s conversations with Ashkar here.

The 12th season of New Way continues with new episodes featuring Deborah Viveros, Becca Ehrlich and Bethany Fox.