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Hard Questions

My children, now both teenagers, often ask my partner and me hard questions. We’ve encountered inquiries like: “Why can’t I go to bed

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 at the same time as you?” “How did that baby get in your belly?” “Why don’t other kids want to play with me?” “Why doesn’t everyone have a house to live in?” “Why don’t people want to see my color?” “Why does my brain work differently than everyone else’s?” “Why did it take so long for the police to get to the school?” And the most difficult question of all: “Why does God let bad things happen?”

Kids know how to ask questions that get to the roots of who we are and what we believe. Hard questions do just that. They challenge our beliefs and highlight the discrepancies between our actions and those beliefs. When children and youth ask trusted adults questions, they seek to make sense of their world. This process helps them understand how to find meaning and make choices in their lives. Our answers, as well as our silence, inform them about our values and will shape the decisions they make.

As adult leaders, parents, and grandparents, it is our role and responsibility to walk alongside God’s beloved children—teaching, demonstrating, living, embodying, and yes, at times questioning the Christian faith we profess. Moses in Deuteronomy 6:6-8 says: These words that I am commanding you today must always be on your minds. Recite them to your children. Talk about them when you are sitting around your house and when you are out and about, when you are lying down and when you are getting up. Tie them on your hand as a sign. They should be on your forehead as a symbol. (Common English Bible). Moses encourages everyone to really focus on the important role parents, caregivers and the faith community play in sharing and nurturing young people’s faith. This scripture reminds us that it’s our job to help the kids in our lives grow in their faith in God through Jesus Christ.

In my experience as a parent of two teenagers, it’s often not the answers I provide that guide them, but rather the life experiences I’ve shared that help them make their own choices. I’m reminded of the responsibility Moses gives us today: we must engage with the questions and curiosities of young people, as this is just as important for nurturing their faith. When cultivating the faith of Jesus Christ in our children and youth, we may not always know the “right” answer to share, and that’s okay. That is why it is so important to note that Moses gave God’s commandments to the community – the gathered body of believers in the Lord God.

The community is a space where people come together to share their concerns, joys, and needs. Recognizing that we may not always have the answers, the community of faith plays a crucial role in supporting us and as we guide our young people through their spiritual journeys, drawing on our belief in God, the words of Scripture, and our lived experiences to navigate uncharted territory. Our Around the Table Podcast: Season 2 is a place where members of our community have come together to take a deep dive into some of the tougher questions children face at this critical time. This season will feature guests who will help us explore these important questions and conversations, including: how to talk with even the youngest children about lockdowns and school shootings with Imana Sherrill; the dynamics of mixed-race households with Nicole Doyley; the upcoming presidential election; the changing faith conversations among young people with Rodger Nishioka; how to raise young people in a hypermasculine culture; and helpful tips for having open and compassionate discussions about suicide and suicide awareness. We hope you’ll join us wherever you get your podcasts—new episodes drop every Friday.

And as a Christian Educator, I cannot leave this post without sharing two amazing resources with you. “When Kids Ask Hard Questions: More Faith-filled Responses for Tough Topics” volume 1 and volume 2 are edited by Bromleigh McCleneghan and Karen Ware Jackson. Many topics are covered in roughly two pages or less (with resource bibliographies!), each thoughtfully written, theologically sound, and offering great wisdom on the conversations and questions we encounter as parents, caregivers, and faith leaders. But not only that… you can also join the Family Faith Every Day Speaker Series with Bromleigh McCleneghan and Karen Ware Jackson on Zoom, Thursday, November 13th, at 11 AM Pacific |1 PM Central | 2 PM Eastern time. This is a free event, just register here. All are welcome. The recording will be available after the event.

Be well, be encouraged, and most of all, be who God created you to be.

In Christ’s Service and Love,

Neema

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